by cadet servante

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one song written / recorded each day of march 2016


released March 1, 2016



all rights reserved


cadet servante San Francisco, California

sf / ca

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Track Name: day 1 (shape shift)
shape shape shifting again
help me out of this one

when i'm down in the mud
i know it won't be too long
to crawl back out

hi!!!!! i!!!!!
Track Name: day 2 (room for rent)
i thought this was a good time to stop

heaven sent, just like a room for rent
but i don't have room for it
Track Name: day 3 (withdraw)
first thing on my mind
when i get home alone

don't know what to call it when we're fooling around
i am fully isolated when it's bringing me down
heaven only knows just why i waited to try
are we gonna lose it when we run out of time
Track Name: day 4 (tiny trophy)
i don't look the same
as i did when you
were calling out my name
in a crowd

tried, but i cannot
find the frame where i'm
draped over your arm
like a dog
Track Name: day 5 (peanut)
for what it's worth, i like your hand
the way it is when it's in my hand
we get along well enough
to sit around and talk about
sharing time
Track Name: day 6 (coin toss)
i told you sober that i was half-elated
i feel you watching me from dark to light
i took the longer walk home to drain my mind out
you hang in every place, i can't get away

heads or tails, i'll stay over
i stay

you hardly sound like you used to,
when you left

hold my hands straight, they keep shaking
find myself a better place
Track Name: day 7 (down 2 lose)
fuck if i know, maybe you're home
can i stop by with a friend of mine?
he doesn't know that you don't know
so maybe we can have a good night

don't say you love me if you don't mean it
Track Name: day 8 (isolated incident)
got a lot at stake when i'm alone with you
heaven only knows
heading out and away just to catch a break
from what i know

weekend away
promise i'll have nothing more to say
when we arrive
and naturally go our separate ways
Track Name: day 9 (transient)
we can pretend
nothing ever lasts
i'd prefer to follow her
into the deep end

how would i know?
i'd have to find out on my own
Track Name: day 10 (your servante)
Track Name: day 11 (rock wall)
save room for the one who luvs you best
you let love in like it's a test
i'm climbing the wall, i'm pushing back
i'm feeling the burn, don't give me slack

who'd ever ask for a lie?
always between a kiss and a sigh
we're running in place
wishing to fill the empty space
Track Name: day 12 (heavier this way)
feel it heavy now,
heavier this way
hardly lonesome now
from the day to day

hand that takes the rose
offers up its thanks
now she’s on her way
from the day to day

as she sleeps alone
peacefully she lays
offers up her thanks
happier this way

feel it heavy now
softly she refrains,
“hand that takes the rose
leaves behind a stain”
Track Name: day 13 (tick tick)
when i speak
to you
a thing
or two

it's not
a thing
to me
or you

beside the point
i've had a few
told you where i'm going
but it wasn't true

and to you
it's what
you think
of me
it's most
Track Name: day 14 (dream sequence)
roast me on a spit, i earned it
hang me out to dry, i'm worth it :~)

cradle me like an infant
fall asleep at the wheel
Track Name: day 15 (system breach)
you talk about the things you like
and i think they all sound fine
but when i'm pushing to get in your head
am i pushing toward a dead end

we pull back and forth
playing tug-o-war

if i ever seem to get in
we could maybe start again
what's the point
who are we kidding
we can never win
Track Name: day 16 (queasy living)
walking backwards
feeling less and less
it's not a test

think of one day
when everything is just how it seems

you remind me
of living on joan st

easy living
when i was less forgiving
Track Name: day 17 (new haze)
i'm sleepwalking for the first time
when i return, i'll not have learned
Track Name: day 18 (get caught up & dwell)
don’t you wanna catch a break
i dont wanna hear that name again
we all know for heaven’s sake
no one ever wants to just be friends

maybe it was just pretend
and everything i know’s just in my head
but i remember cradling you
wishing everything you said would end

i don’t know you very well
so i don’t want to get caught up & dwell
on a vacant memory
of a nice image we’ll never be
Track Name: day 19 (your old style)
taking a walk alone sounds nice when i'm
drunk alone and the feeling's right
i hesitate when i should speak freely
i know this isn't where i want to be

i guess i've known you a long while
i like you best in your old style
sometimes you feel like you can't keep up
so i'm treading the water for the both of us
Track Name: day 20 (time to time)
only i know my size
i'm not waiting by the scale to die
you can tell me not to worry
but i still have to look myself in the eyes
from time to time
Track Name: day 21 (growing pain)
wearing it is good enough
if you ever learn to trust
when do we know if we're old enough?
Track Name: day 22 (zuma)
before work i draw hands in memory
when there was sand on my doormat
to track
Track Name: day 23 (in the clouds)
distant now
i am only twisting around
it's hard to make headway
with my head in the clouds

and i am only one of them,
the one who can control her own fate
with her head in the clouds

i give myself to all of it
i know how to begin
Track Name: day 24 (resting place)
maybe i'm done looking up,
find it within myself
a place inside where i can hide
and never be alone
Track Name: day 25 (pat & bob i saw you kiss once)
this is a song about my grandparents
Track Name: day 26 (dreams like sand)
it would be nice, living alone
i dont do much talking when i am home
is my future getting out of hand?
my dreams are dropping just like grains of sand

i want to go
anywhere to be alone
my head is getting heavier
the more & more i grow
Track Name: day 28 (feels like real life)
feels like real life inside here

i tried
so nice of you to write

keep skipping ahead
i dread one more
night alone
i'll head back
to you